As you’re probably well aware at this point, the internet is a pretty big place! With so much to explore, it can be hard to find where you fit in.

The internet isn’t quite like real life where you’ll likely find yourself in places meant for you naturally; there are no classrooms, clubs, or community spaces. In places like these you may be sorted into a similar age-group, or be supported by adults like teachers and parents. But online, there are endless possible spaces and groups to find yourself in, yet without any clear guidelines on if you are meant to be there or not.

Online spaces take lots of forms, such as forums, multi-player games, and social media websites. However, there will often not be anything to tell you whether or not it’s a good fit. Finding the right space is up to you.

While there is no one correct way to do so, there are some helpful things to keep in mind as you search.

For one, you should determine whether the kind of content or topic of the space aligns with your interests. If you like bugs, you may enjoy a Reddit forum for bug identification, but not a pest control forum. That’s just the beginning, though.

Maybe you’re playing a multi-player game that you really enjoy the gameplay of, but you’re not so sure, or even uncomfortable, about the way people talk to each other in the in-game chats. Perhaps you sign up for a social media website, but the longer you spend on the website the more you feel pressure to post. It’s not a crime to want to engage with and create on a website, but if you feel as if you need to in order to be welcome or to keep up, that is a bad sign. You could even find yourself on a website dedicated to a topic you don’t know much about.

In moments such as these, you need to stop, observe, consider how you feel, and determine what course of action suits you best.

In the video game example, the in-game chat behavior may be a sign that you would better enjoy the game by ignoring or turning off the in-game chat. You may also want to consider the possibility that seeking out further discussions about the game on other websites could also be upsetting. If the community acts a certain way in one form, it’s good to be wary of how they may act on another, as it is likely to not be terribly different. On the social media website, you may try to figure out why you feel that pressure, and if you want to keep using the site or treat it differently. If you don’t know much about a website or its topic, you could look around before engaging to see if you would enjoy doing so or not.

By taking the extra time to observe how an online space function can be so valuable. You get to decide what’s best for you, rather than going along with a strange or upsetting situation. Then, you in turn get to spend your time participating in what brings you joy!